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Human
I’m trying hard to stay spiritually conscious every day. When I mess up which is frequently I have to just tell myself that i am human. Human How humbling a concept… how liberating! I now can make mistakes, rather, I expect myself to! And when I make mistakes I will be very kind to myself.
Conundrum:
I generally do not enjoy myself at school… I find it a waste of time. I get so much work to do which creates so much stress in my life, and I don’t find what i’m studying to be interesting. I know what interests me and I want to be studying it! It’s the stuff that really really matters to me, spirituality, holistic medicine, yoga, outdoors, eastern culture and medicine, native american culture, and so on and so forth. And it’s not only what i’m learning, but it’s the manner and environment it’s taught in. I don’t see purpose in any of it. We take notes in class, we talk, we get homework, we take a test, we hand in our homework, and we get a grade. It’s a pressure cooker to get into a “good” college, and the pressure is always present but it’s hard for me to work with it because it lacks meaning to me. I want hands on purposeful learning about things that matter to me! I want to be with like-minded people who are accepting and share a sense of spirituality and compassion with me. School brings me down and creates a lot of stress in my life and I don’t want to flunk out because I know that’s not right, I know that the warrior in me is capable of persisting for another year and a quarter (and I really should be grateful for that time I have left.)until I can go to a school that offers a fitting environment for me. How to do so is my conundrum…
